(Thai local time)

Don’t Try This At Home: NTN’s Non-Guide To Circumventing Censorship

The following steps should NOT be taken by those attempting to bypass the Ministry of Communication and Information’s blocking of websites 


It is ILLEGAL to use this guide to quickly and easily access the world of free information on the internet. NTN provides this information in the public interest as a clear example of what not to do, right now.

 

  1. DO NOT log onto to www.torproject.org
  2. DO NOT download the latest package on this page: http://torproject.org/download.html.en.
  3. DO NOT open the file, which will automatically install all the software you need.
  4. DO NOT notice that a small icon now appears in your system tray, shaped like a small onion.
  5. DO NOT right-click the onion and select “Start” from the pop-up menu.
  6. DO NOT use the same menu to select “Message List” to see the Tor system slowly develop an anonymizing network.
  7. Once its tells you “A circuit has been built” DO NOT then enjoy safe, censorship-free surfing to banned sites such as YouTube and MindightUniversity.
  8. For even greater convenience, DO NOT download Mozilla Firefox, a superior web browser program available free at http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/ , and DO NOT then download an add-on called “Tor Button” here at https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/2275 that allows you to switch Tor on and off easily while browsing.
  9. If you do successfully download Tor, DO NOT keep a copy of the downloaded installation file which can be easily emailed as an attachment to all your friends or distributed on a CD-ROM or flash keychain drive.
  10. If the Tor download page is blocked, DO NOT seek out other similar services and software such as these: http://freenetproject.org/ or http://www.freehaven.net/ or http://marabunta.laotracara.com/english.php.
  11. If these services are not available, DO NOT do a Google Search for “anonymizer” or anonymity networks” and DO NOT learn more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Anonymity_networks.
  12. And while you’re at it, DO NOT use Bit Torrent to download massive amounts of free CD-quality music or high-definition, full-length, titillating pornography.
  13. Obey all laws and guidelines from the Ministry of Communications Information.
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 PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD WITH NOT THE NATION  TODAY.

MISSING Basic knowledge about client’s past statements and actions, recent Thai history and complex political situation. Urgently email robert.amsterdam

@amsterdamperoff.com.

 WANTED New superficial identity to project to the world. Will be featured in global advertising campaign. Avoid word “smiles”. Send pitches to Tourism Authority of Thailand. 

 

 

LOST Sleep. Between May 14 and May 20 in downtown Bangkok. Can’t remember last time I had it exactly. Would pay anything to have it again. Contact sub desk at AP.

 

 

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